i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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