you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize