so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
