I faked an abortion last night.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
