You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
