i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
