My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
