No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
