GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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