idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Dear god my vagina.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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