Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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