frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize