return my video game
at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
