VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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