there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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