Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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