I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
