piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize