I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
