Me too!
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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