Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Randomize
