The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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