We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Even the bartender felt bad for me
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
