So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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