Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
We need to rekindle our bromance
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize