Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
