"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize