first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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