some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
