I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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