And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
