Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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