I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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