Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
