There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
