I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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