Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
