Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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