it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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