she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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