Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
