his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
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