I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize