At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
