mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
