3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
