In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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