SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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