Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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