Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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