am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Only a mothe r could love this liver
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
