Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
