found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
