I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
