woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
