Grow some girl-balls and come out already
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Found your dick twin last night
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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