Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
