Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
