Just fell off a train. Bad.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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