i need an iv and a liver transplant
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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