Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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