the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
