you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize