So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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