oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize