Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
