my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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