arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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