at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
