If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Boobs are out for the taking
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
