I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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