just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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