I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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