her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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