i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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