Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize