If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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