dude i'm inner monologue high
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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