My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
