Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
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