So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
