hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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